Parents claim that parenthood "didn't come with a manuel". Parents are constantly saying how their parents used to treat them, but why do they treat us the same? Theythat you constantly remind us of the unecessary and cruel hardships that their parents put them through. So why do they continue to put us through the same?
Dont get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that parenting is easy, because it isn't, but how wouldnt it make sense that since they rocognize their past problems, cant they refraim themselves from putting it on us? I doubt it's done intentionally. Parents, please understand how ironic it is how you understand your past problems, but yet you put us through the same.
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I believe that they don't intentionally,I think that its just something that we can't understand until we are parents. Usually they just tend to try and do what is best for us even if they know their parents did the same thing.
I think it has to do with the subconscious, they tell themselves so many times over and over again not to act a certain way that soon enough that's all their brain knows. And that leads me to another issue, ok, you don't want to be like you parents, well how would you act differently? There's a million factors that play into parental decisions, but the ultimate problem is not being able to put things behind you, not being able to deal with your past. You keep reliving it so many times in your head that you come to believe that that's all that exists.
It's a common question really. Parents as children often ridiculed their own parents for their parenting skill and restrictions. They vow not to restrict their children in the same way. And some keep that vow. But most, in ripening and realizing and experiencing, begin to understand why their parents did what they did. It's a cycle.
I actually did a story for the newspaper about the dating generation gap wherein Mr. Geller gave an excellent quote: "The younger generation needs o change the negative values that the previous generation brought." It's true it seems because we have developed into a society wth lesser values than say, 50 years ago when our country was more racially divided. We have evolved as a whole if you think back ages ago. Parents may alter some of the tactics that their parents recognized when they were younger. However, when we become parents even with Mr. Geller's quote in mind, we will again alter the already altered disciplinary measures of our parents.
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